I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
I'm trying to think of how to explain to the dentist tomorrow that I think I pulled my jaw muscle eating pizza while drunk.
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
Bad news. I baked you a cake and one of my fingernails is missing.
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
Randomize
