life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
I'm bleeding and have questions
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
When we were in Vegas he tried to get an Elvis impersonator to act dead on a toilet so he could take photos. This is even worse
Randomize
