Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
Found my new morning breakfast spot. Hospital cafeteria. Nobody asks questions, they just assume shit went downnn
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
I just remembered I made you punch yourself in the face last night and I would like to formally apologize for that even though it was hilarious.
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
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