I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
You came in as I got off work, ordered us jack and cokes. Put them on my tab, and then proceeded to fall asleep on the bar.
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
Just discovered evidence of drunken eBay bid. Drunk Mike did pretty good -- I'm getting a new sleeping bag.
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
Randomize
