Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
I asked a lamppost to be my valentine. Also: I'm wearing a sombrero. We need more sombrero in our lives.
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
Everyone says I win the strip club
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
Randomize
