you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
my hand froze to the top of can of beer cuz i fell asleep outside. i decided to find a way to open the bottom of the can before addressing my severe frostbite. PRIORITIES!
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
I climbed up on the tank of the toilet so I could take a slo-mo vid of myself pissing into the garbage can, but the base of the toilet shattered and I had to bail.
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
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