I'll bet she douches with gravy.
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
I can't remember if the bartender cut you off after you broke your glass or after you wished the bar a happy winter solstice during your karaoke number.
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
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