Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
Pretty good. They took the stitches out but it still hurts like a bitch. The doctor says I should be off crutches by next week.
Well, that's good. Let's hope drunk you doesn't sabotage you.
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
How the hell do you misplace a bag of tacos in a closet?
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
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