Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
He shit in the fireplace
Randomize
