she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
Why are handjobs necessary in class?
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
Bruh. You offered the cashier tater tots that you had stuffed in your pocket.
Yeah, and? She might've been hungry.
Randomize
