apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
i just used shampoo as lube. why? because i'm worth it.
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
Look, I'm just saying, she looks like a troll and works indefinitely at a shitty Chinese restaurant, so me sleeping with her boyfriend is the least of her troubles...
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
Randomize
