Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
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