Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
i don't know whats more disturbing, that his dog drooled directly into my mouth or that i was too drunk and tired to do anything except let it be there.
when i was ordering pizza, the guy muffled the phone but i could clearly hear him say "its that drunk bitch again"
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
Randomize
