Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
Her car is covered in frozen vomit, and she lost her iPhone. I'm also pretty sure I smoked crack last night. Rest in peace 2014.
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
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