Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
Drunk me left sober me a shower beer in expectation of Hurricane Harvey. Drunk me is the best.
Randomize