So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
Randomize
