Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
I need you to perform a face transplant. Please remove your face from your accounting book and relocate it to where it's most needed - between my legs.
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
Randomize
