There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
finding my wedding ring encrusted in vomit this morning really just topped off last night...
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
Have you ever drank bourbon in your underwear while wearing a Santa hat and reflecting on the decisions of your life? Asking for a friend.
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
Randomize
