I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
Someone broke into my car and stole it then left me $300 to pay for the damages with a lovely note that said "we just couldn't pass up the boxed wine... Sorry about the window."
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
My puke in the shower morning just turned into a puke in the restroom at work afternoon. I'm the human embodiment of dumpster fire.
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
Randomize
