We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
Sooooooo Your wife and your girlfriend are making cat noises at one another via text
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
Randomize
