I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
So then you challenged the bartender to an arm wrestling contest for a free bottle of vodka
Sweet. Did I win?
Youre hungover arent you?
I been sleeping but occasionally wake up feeling like tiny elves are in my throat ripping my esophagus to shreds with their bare hands.
Somehow, you made that sound extremely magical and not at all painful.
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
I think my nap took me to another dimension
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
Randomize
