I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
future reference: when you get a text that says "WARNING: EXPLICIT PHOTOS BEING DELIVERED. VIEWERS DISCRETION IS ADVISED." you always open the attached picture.
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
We found you in the bathroom at 1AM throwing money into the toilet making wishes. That drunk.
.... Seriously?
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
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