Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
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