Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
i just looked at my contacts and realized i saved the pizza hut girl's number as "fckucin pizza" the other night.
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
probably shouldnt have written that paper while wasted, its starts with once upon a time
i tried to stop you but you kept shouting "two birds with one stone!"
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
Sometimes you have a life bucket list item checked off like 4 tits in your face simultaneously and getting to bang them both. I'm sorry I bailed on skiing but not really. Coming over with a boombox playing 'heat of the moment' as soon as I can hail a cab cause I'm too drunk to drive still...
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
Just bought plan b at 8am. Then the cashier asked if I wanted to donate to the children's miracle network. Fml
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
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