I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
You said you brought chipotle into a movie and I asked you to marry me and you said yes
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
Randomize
