sexting loses it's worth when you accidentally text your boss.
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
our landlord thinks we're weird & alcoholics. he came in to fix our broken tub and saw the laundry door on our table for beer pong, the garbage bag full of empty fifths, and that one armed baby on the doorstep. plus he saw us swimming and yargging in our pirate pool that one time.
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
That last one reminds me of the time we smoked that foot-long joint and by the time we'd finished we were so stoned we applauded it.
Randomize