every time i drive by the road she lives on, i scream in the car "i'm sorry i'm sleeping with your boyfriend!" makes me feel less whore-y.
Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
Randomize
