She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
That's when you crack a 10am beer
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
Randomize
