Last night I broke through a door, was hospitialized, arrested, and threw my shoe at a bouncer. This summer is gonna be fuckin sick.
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
My vibrator broke.
Dude it's been less than twelve hours. Did you sleep?
Don't worry about that. I need a new vibrator.
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