Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
None of these texts make sense. except for "step 2.5 equals velociraptor." that i get.
I think people are normalizing furries
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
I'm going to need you to stop harassing my professor on Twitter when you're drunk.
Randomize
