I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
i just used a urinal to avoid climbing stairs, i need to quit drinking.
i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
The typical response to someone smacking their vodka soaked hand on your face is not to put your face in their crotch
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
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