I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
fuck your aforementioned shoe
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
Randomize
