my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
Yepp, I had to be the one to explain that the girl who was slapping people in the face with a dildo was my drunk girlfriend.
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
Randomize
