It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
how do flat chested girls get laid?
You paid the taxi driver with a comb last night.
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
Come share oat with me in your robe
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
Randomize
