I love hooters. This dumb bartender is saying how coffee dehydrates you so that's why she sometimes just eats the coffee grinds wake up.
chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
Randomize
