She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
I'm in the liquor aisle and a 10 yr old boy yells, "My favorite beer is Corona! Daddy remember when you gave me some on our camping trip?"
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
Randomize
