What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
You do realize it's a Tuesday, right?
You do realize I stopped giving a fuck about calendars when I was 10, right? And besides, it could be the best Tuesday of your life.
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
just found out that she named her cat after me.
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
Randomize
