I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
last night some bitch put bruce along with his entire fishbowl in her purse and tried to leave. how drunk do you have to be to steal someone's pet??
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
Official reason: I couldn't get time off. The real reason: last Xmas nearly ended in alcohol poisoning to prevent me from screaming like a velociraptor
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
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