dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
Randomize
