I had a fork in my beer hand and just stabbed my tongue.
ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
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