porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
My friend's 9-year-old son just informed me that for a cop station, you can't use a shotgun; you have to use a machine gun. Thank you, Grand Theft Auto, for single-handedly corrupting our youth.
i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
Spilled red wine all over my bed. This has to be the fiftieth time ive refused to fall asleep without a drink in my hand
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
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