i jhust puked up my retainher.
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
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