I just woke up with a girl who has left and right tattoed on her wrists. In french. I may need to stop drinking.
omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
Also I'd apologize for texting you flipping my shit about the science of hair growth while I was shrooming last night but we know each other better than that
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
Randomize
