These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
I’m gonna stop you right there. The last time you had a “brilliant” idea, I woke up to my kitchen covered in flour and a javelin through my tv.
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
Randomize
