he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
While we were driving she just screams from the backseat: MUMFORD AND SONS DROP THE BANJO and made what were meant to be banjo sound effects
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
Randomize
