Me too!
the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
Randomize
