i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
Yeah, I only wore tennis shoes under the gown. Way cooler than khakis and a shirt, but much more awkward when my parents wanted to go to dinner immediately after the ceremony and my grandmother started to unzip the gown. Stopped her before it was too late, but barely. My dad just rolled his eyes.
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
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