Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
Just learned a valuable lesson today. Don't open snap chats from 3 am the next morning while sitting next to a small child. They totally saw your dick.
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
Randomize
