You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
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