There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
Like, you've got the smoothest dick in the west. Do you moisturize?
Yes I do
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
Randomize
