Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
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