you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
So my niece decided to play "lets make shapes out of your bruises" with me and told me that one of them looks like a shark bite. Bravo, sir. Bravo.
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
50% drunk capacity currently
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
Randomize
