I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
I'm bleeding and have questions
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
Randomize