What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
Haha i really think theres no better way to tell a paramedic sorry for breaking your nose than a beautiful and healthy edible arrangement...
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
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