you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
i sold my breathalizer so i could buy weed
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
You promised me a handle of vodka if I took home her ugly friend. Thanks to law class I took for the 2nd time I know that's a unilateral contract asshole
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
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