Sorry, its so late. Remember your fat friend with huge boobs. i need her number..its an emergency
i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
we're making bets on your personal life
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
Randomize
