just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
Randomize
