feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
i just sent this text using only my big toe
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
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