Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
You know I think I am ok with him not moving in yet. He came over, fixed my closet, ate me out, and left. I'm now in sweats drinking coke and rum and watching new girl. This works for me.
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
Going to jail. Warrant. Be home late. For the love of god turn your ringer on.
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
Randomize
