ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
Randomize
