Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
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