Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
Randomize
