No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
When you get up and look at yourself in the mirror, don't be alarmed. The doctor assured us last night that it looked way worse than it actually was and there won't be a scar when the stitches come out
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
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