my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
I told her we had to stay at the bar until at least midnight because that's when my direct deposit hit, don't tell me i'm not responsible
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
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