considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
WHY DID YOU DRUNK DIAL MY MOM?!
Because mine was sitting on the bar stool next to me...
The cops high fived after they tackled you
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
Randomize