like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.
I have two bottles of emergency tequila stashed under my desk at work.
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
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