Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
When your grandma invites you to a sweet girls' Valentine's dinner with your mom and sister, but you have to decline because you're trying to get two dudes to rail you at once...
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
Randomize
