Just threw up at the table during our Father's Day dinner. And I managed to get quite a bit on dad, so that was nice.
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
I just made a steamroller out of a christmas ornament. I feel so festive.
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
You know your life has gone off the rails when waking up in a Spanish hospital with alcohol poisoning and no memory of how you got there is not even your top wildest drinking story.
Randomize
