Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
So here I am, sexting at work.
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
