I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
Thanks for being the best husband and reassuring my fuck buddy that you're comfortable with my adultery. You da real MVP.
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
My vagina is very pro this idea
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
I'm drunkenly throwing popcorn at a spider, fuck him. Why does his scary 8 legs get to be happy?
Randomize
