So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
I just had a random tinder dude give me a ride home from school because my car is dead. Tinder rules! It's like Uber, but with boys who want to impress you.
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
Randomize
