I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?
I'm hiding in my office refusing to turn the light on holding puke down stealing and shoveling down the meeting snacks and regretting my poor life choices. goldfish crackers are like crack to me right now. how is your day?
I mean, he’s listed as “Andrew DC Threesome” in my phone. THATS HOW I REMEMBER HIM! How is that not the start of a fairytale?
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